It's every girl's dream to be wooed. To have someone head-over-sneakers for them, writing them love letters, singing outside their windows. We see the happy endings on t.v., the picture perfect couples, and we can't help but be a little jealous. The heart longs for companionship; for love. You know, the whole cliche package. When we don't have that we wonder what we did wrong. Why can't we find anyone to love us? We stay up all night to find the perfect outfit, make-up, hair-do, anything. It we are left with nothing. At least we think we have nothing.
Lately I have been feeling that way, I'm not going to lie. I mean a lot of people go through this. But this week it has been different. I could literally feel the emotional attacks of the devil in this area of my life. Why am I not loved; why can't I see love in others around me? Is it even real or just simply un-obtainable. Then tonight I felt an urge to just listen to some good Jesus music. Out of nowhere (okay not nowhere, pandora chose it) this song Beloved by Tenth Avenue North came on. I felt God whisper in my ear: "You pray for love, well here it is." I cried, a lot. I mean God is taking the time to woo me. I mean holy crap, God is friggin' wooing me! Honestly, I don't think I have ever felt so loved in my whole life. God is a hopeless romantic I must say.
He is such the perfect model for love. He is showing me that; revealing to me what it is and what it should look like. I don't need people in my life to show me how to love, I have Him. And I know in His timing He will give me the opportunity to share what I have learned with someone else. But for now I am perfectly satisfied.
After reaching this realization today, I realized something else. The times I feel the most unloved are the times I'm listening to music thats not for God. Now I don't hate secular music, that is not at all what I'm saying. It's just, for me, God communicates most often through music. When I take that away, I am more susceptible to the attacks of the enemy in this part of my life. So I have decided to take a month fast of secular music. It's going to be hard, but so worth it. I will get to spend more time with my beloved.
But how about you? Have you spent time with your beloved today?
"You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving." -- Amy Carmichael, missionary to India
I would say the hardest thing in my Christian walk and relationship is fear. Not just fear of something, but the fear of failing at something. I stop myself from doing God's will in my mind, I never act on what He wants.
But fear can be so much more than an inhibitor. Fear is such a strong emotion, I don't think I would be exaggerating if I said the strongest emotional motivator underneath love.
I feel God calling, begging me to use my great fear to become greatly dependent. Dependent on him. In our weakness He is able to build us up to be a testimony. How? When things are impossible for us, God reminds us that He can do the impossible. Fear opens up this opportunity. I mean look at Moses, he was a: sinner, murderer, and had a fear of public speaking. Despite all of these things God still used him. Now he is one of the largest influences in Christianity and Judaism.
If I ever want to do great things for Him I need to step-up and stand-out. God help me realize I can't do this on my own and act on that realization. Help me trust that if I fail you will raise me up to greatness.
Psalms 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?
"It is possible for the most obscure person in a church, with a heart right toward God, to exercise as much power for the evangelization of the world, as it is for those who stand in the most prominent positions." -- John R. Mott
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
I just remembered these verses as I was prepping to write this. I think they are exactly what I and we need right now. I have been praying for a pouring out of spiritual gifts on our youth and myself. And, as my last blog suggested, the faith to use them. My prayer has been answered, in many ways. God has renewed a vision in my mind. I've seen this vision before, on two other occasions to be specific. It was of hands being raised and something resembling a bird or something flying (I can't truly describe it) coming out of people towards heaven. I have asked for discernment and I think it means that God is calling our spirits back to Him. That this year we are going to have a home-sickness for where we belong and it's not going to be able to be contained! We are a generation of world-changers, I can name ten billion from our youth and am so excited to see more rise up to Gods calling. Holy Spirit have your way with us, never let us give you boundaries. Overwhelm us with your calling!
The next thing I want to talk about is something that goes hand in hand with visions for me. Expendability. So what the heck is expendability? Well let's check the dictionary...
expendable |ikˈspendəbəl|
adjective
(of an object) designed to be used only once and then destroyed
• of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be destroyed
Whoa, pretty intense right? In my devotional a quote from Nate Saint said:
During the last war we were taught that, in order to obtain our objective, we had to be willing to be expendable. . . . We know that there is only one answer when our country demands that we share in the price of freedom—yet when the Lord Jesus asks us to pay the price for world evangelization, we often answer without a word. We cannot go. We say it costs too much. . . . Missionaries constantly face expendability.
NATE SAINT, A MISSIONARY MARTYRED IN THE
ECUADORIAN JUNGLE IN 1956
This spoke to me with intensity. Are we willing to give it all for God and for others to reach eternity? It brought me back to Winter Retreat this year. God has laid upon my heart missions. Am I willing to die for this? Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!! In fact, that night I gave God person to do so. To make me a martyr if that would reach more people than me living. I am willing to die a thousand times to save one person from going to hell. I understand that is a dangerous thing to say, but it keeps me accountable. It shows me where my heart should be when ministering to others. I challenge you to challenge me and yourself; I challenge you to be a better missionary, a better friend, a better leader, and a better child of Christ. Be expendable, the cost has never mattered less than now. What matters is souls and eternity.
P.S. I also encourage you to listen to this. The first time I listened to it I cried and still do. Invite the Holy Spirit in, let Him change your wants to His.
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose" -- Jim Elliot, missionary martyr who lost his life in the late 1950's trying to reach the Auca Indians of Ecuador
Tonight I'm writing about two things God is teaching me about. The "F" words: Forgiveness and Faith.
To forgive others;it clears you spiritual. Letting go of hurt and pain is such a relief. God has really shown me that through Joseph. Twice last week this story was shared with me. It really challenged me. I mean if Joseph can forgive his brothers for practically attempted murder, then I can forgive some people that have given me emotional scars! Once I reach forgiveness I'm giving God the ok to come and heal me.
Faith. I want to have faith. I want to have faith. I want to have faith. I want to have faith. I want to have faith. No matter how many times I say this to myself I'm not going to have faith! The whole concept of faith is belief in the unseen; stepping out when I can't see the ground beneath my feet. NO LONGER! I am no longer going to let God and others pass me by. I am going to be a woman of faith! 2011 may be the year of salvations for youth, but 2011 is my year of faith. I'm going to move mountains one day. Maybe metaphorically, maybe literally. It's all in God's timing. I'm so excited for this year, I can already feel God's progress within me, tearing down my walls of doubt and fear.
I don't want faith. I have it.
(This video is for Leah. It may be cliche, but I'm cool with it )
"God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him." -- Hudson Taylor, missionary to China
Last night I was researching the different people groups in China. I was thinking maybe I could get an idea of where I want to go, where specifically I want to reach. I found this website and it shows the people group, percentage of that group reached, population, and religion. Of the 516 people groups only 93 have 5% of people professing to be Christians. ONLY 93 people groups and only about five percent of them have been reached. God it breaks my heart that there are MILLIONS living without you, MILLIONS that are going to hell for ETERNITY. Let's say that again, ETERNITY!!!!! It's so hard for me to wrap my head around it. There is no second chances for forever. I mean forever. I can't stand the thought of that happening if I can make a difference. I want it to be a party in heaven and on judgement day I don't want to have to answer to God for those I could have reached but didn't.
So why red means go as a title? On the site all of the unreached people groups were labeled in red. So contrary to popular belief, red means go! Go fight the spiritual warfare, go fight for the people of God, go fight for souls! We can be world-changers. Change two, change a thousand. Never under estimate the power just two souls can make.
Lately I've changed up my devotionals. While unpacking I found my old one Extreme Devotion from Voice of the Martyrs. I started reading and wow has it impacted me. I was wondering why it never had this much of an effect on me, then I realized I only read the stories, I didn't read the application or the biblical knowledge it held. What a shallow, a-typical pk Christian I used to be and sometimes that old personality rears its ugly head (hey, I'm not perfect).
To share I read this story about Richard Wurmbrand. If you don't know who he is well, he was a missionary to Romania; google him if you'd like. In it the first quote is "I admire Communists". To add to the oddness of the quote Richard is a Jew who had to endure WWII and all the persecutions that came along with. So, you'd think Communism wouldn't be very high on his lists of admirations. So what did he admire? He admired the readiness of a people to defend their "Utopia". He followed with his observations of the common church and how it was hard to find people to defend their faith.
He loved it when people opposed him. Why? Because they had taken an intrest. This gave him an opportunity to challenge them to the truth. After this he was able to share his beliefs and not just bible bang them, tell them how much an idiot they are, or preach at them. But, he said, to do this we must know where they are coming from and speak intelligently. Most of all share with love. Hold on, not sure if you got that, WITH LOVE!!!
For that very reason I'm so excited I am taking worldviews. I want to be able to utilize opposition thrown at me and to be able to example the faith in terms others can relate to. Also I was extremely excited and disappointed when he was talking about communism. I was like, "Yo, where my people at?!?!" In my mind of course. Because he was talking about my people, my China (if you didn't know, China is a communist nation. Their economic stand-point is slowly changing, but their government standpoint of socialism is deep-rooted). The field is fresh for the picking. The Chinese are a dedicated people willing to die for causes close to the heart. I am disappointed it is communism. I want to give these people something to stand up for Jesus. Ince these people get ahold of the truth, there is nothing stopping their dedication.
So next time someone is harassing you, don't get defensive or slander them in their ignorance. Love them, challenge them, change them. They are a huge opportunity for ministry, don't let your own pride or ignorance get in the way of that. Be the love this generation needs. The love of Jesus.
Matthew 5:43-44 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighborand hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light" -- John Keith Falconer
Tonight I was reading about James (the son of Zebedee) and his execution. He and a Roman officer were killed that day. The Roman guard set to kill him refused to do so. Now as an officer to disobey orders is a death wish. That guard knew his life would end, but he still did the right thing. Why? It was the influence of James and the man who sent him.
The devil is smart when it comes to this. Mentoring and relationship between two believers is so crucial for the spiritual survival of them. It not only provides positive peer pressure, accountability, and knowledge (some give, some take and vice versa). The devil sees this and makes it his target for christians. "Oh, you don't have to go to church, it's just a building. God is everywhere." Yes, God is everywhere, but remember what the early church was: the body of Christ! Fellowship and discipleship with each other helps keep us going.
I mean if we aren't together as one body, strong and faithful, how are we supposed to reach out to others, when we can't even touch the lives of other believers? So I challenge you this week. Grab your best friend at youth and start being true friends and keep each other heading towards God strong!
"Only as the church fulfills her missionary obligation does she justify her existence." -- Unknown
