You Are My Beloved... Even If You Are Blind

It's every girl's dream to be wooed. To have someone head-over-sneakers for them, writing them love letters, singing outside their windows. We see the happy endings on t.v., the picture perfect couples, and we can't help but be a little jealous. The heart longs for companionship; for love. You know, the whole cliche package. When we don't have that we wonder what we did wrong. Why can't we find anyone to love us? We stay up all night to find the perfect outfit, make-up, hair-do, anything. It we are left with nothing. At least we think we have nothing.

Lately I have been feeling that way, I'm not going to lie. I mean a lot of people go through this. But this week it has been different. I could literally feel the emotional attacks of the devil in this area of my life. Why am I not loved; why can't I see love in others around me? Is it even real or just simply un-obtainable.  Then tonight I felt an urge to just listen to some good Jesus music. Out of nowhere (okay not nowhere, pandora chose it) this song Beloved by Tenth Avenue North came on. I felt God whisper in my ear: "You pray for love, well here it is." I cried, a lot. I mean God is taking the time to woo me. I mean holy crap, God is friggin' wooing me! Honestly, I don't think I have ever felt so loved in my whole life. God is a hopeless romantic I must say.

He is such the perfect model for love. He is showing me that; revealing to me what it is and what it should look like. I don't need people in my life to show me how to love, I have Him. And I know in His timing He will give me the opportunity to share what I have learned with someone else. But for now I am perfectly satisfied.

After reaching this realization today, I realized something else. The times I feel the most unloved are the times I'm listening to music thats not for God. Now I don't hate secular music, that is not at all what I'm saying. It's just, for me, God communicates most often through music. When I take that away, I am more susceptible to the attacks of the enemy in this part of my life. So I have decided to take a month fast of secular music. It's going to be hard, but so worth it. I will get to spend more time with my beloved.

But how about you? Have you spent time with your beloved today?

"You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving." -- Amy Carmichael, missionary to India