Convicted of Overriding Conviction

You are a selfish jerk. 

Ouch, those words still burn in my head and heart when I think about my conviction; my conviction as a follower of Christ. For years I have let my fear of rejection, my natural instinct of preservation, become stronger than my conviction to share the love of God. I have been selfishly hoarding the only thing that has kept me alive, the one thing that has given me purpose, and that is salvation. And why? For the fear of striking out. Ugh, just typing that makes me sick to my stomach. I literally want to throw-up. I feel so ashamed, I feel like a Pharisee. Not in the typical way, but in the way of  witnessing when it is easy if that makes since. Here I am wanting to be a missionary and I'm scared of what a high schooler might say? Don't worry this isn't going to become a grill session for myself. I am just showing you what was. That is now past.

I have been praying for confidence, conviction, courage, and for the burden of God's heart and I've got it. I feel more empowered even as I write this. We can do it. We can do it. We can do it. We can do it. We can do it. We can do it. That is all I hear and say in my spirit. I am going to do something great and I am going to see people's life change. It is no longer ok to make excuses as to why I can't because the fact of the matter is I can't, but God can. That is the testimony and where God works. I am going to be used and in order to do that I must take that first step and pray God catches my feet as they fall through the floor. From now on there is no turning back and I am so thankful. Look out world here Jesus comes.

Holy Spirit come fill this heart and this place. Render us senseless in your power and in your testimony. Take captive our homes, schools, churches, nation, world, and lives. Flood the world with your spirit and drown out the darkness. Break all strongholds, lies, and fears and replace them with you. Bring us back to the days of your early church. Make us one again. Only then will we see the change this world needs. Amen.

There is no longer an I can't or I want, only I Am.

"Is not the commission of our Lord still binding upon us? Can we not do more than now we are doing?" — William Carey