My Calling WARNING: This is obnoxiously long and don't begin it if you don't intend on finishing it because that's kind of rude.

Hey guys,
   So I was pretty jealous that everyone had a cool blog, so I said what the heck I might as well make one. It will most likely go by my train of thought, so if you get confused keep reading. Also please don't be offended by any bad grammar :)
   Over Winter Retreat God really burdened my heart for the lost. It was really weird, it was like I could feel his pain and it was exasperating. The best I could describe it was desperate, longing, heartbreaking pain. I could feel it through my whole body and, just like getting hit in the nose, I couldn't help but weep. That is what snowballed my vision or mission you could say into being. I really felt like I am called into the missions field. I've had this passion ever since I was little. However, as I got older I became bitter towards the ministry because of what I thought I saw the ministry destroying: Pastor's families. As that bitterness grew deeper and deeper, the more I wanted nothing to do with my calling. Then God decided to mess me up a bit because He is oh so good at that. During the AG Fine Arts Festival and General Counsel the speaker, I can't even remember his name, was talking about how that night God was calling people to be missionaries and pastors. Towards the end of the service the Holy Spirit hit me so hard with my calling, there was no denying it. I wept and when I say I wept I don't mean a "Yay Jesus! I'm going to reach your people and you're going to use me. This is friggin' AWESOME!!!" No, I was more of a "God, what the heck of course I would be called to the ministry" My friend Sam took one look at me and knew what was happening and she laughed, she said she knew it all along. I took one look at her and laughed because I had known it too; I'm just dumb and stubborn. Overtime God also revealed to me that it wasn't His ministry that was messing up families, it was the people in the ministry that had wrong priorities.
    So to continue with that I am feeling lead towards Southeast Asia, particularly China, and the 10/40 window. What's the 10/40 window? It's the geographical area of where the most unreached people groups are. I mean if Mexico has 20 million unsaved people imagine that place. I mean by no means is it spiritually dry; it has run ramped with Transcendentalism. I want to help show those people that God isn't some mystic force or someone not involved in their life. I want to show them that God is there for them, even when their government isn't, even if their families are being torn apart, and even if they are so below poverty level ants are a delicacy. I have too much to offer them and God for me to stand by and watch millions of people go to hell. I can't, I won't do it! I know I'm weak, fearful, and the wort of all doubtful of God's ability to use me. But everyday God is working in me and revealing new things. I'm excited to see what He does.
    Now that we have that covered, I want to explain why I'm writing this blog. I am very easily distracted and I easily give into my want of sleep. You might be thinking, "Yeah, so? Isn't everyone?" Well I don't want to be like everyone else. This is the main reason why I feel God told me to delete my Facebook. I know, it was really hard, which is exactly why I needed to do it. I wasted all my time on it and then when 11:30 came rolling around guess who didn't spend time with Jesus, me. So because I no longer have that form of social networking a Jesus-y blog, I think, will help me keep accountable with me spending time with him and writing it down. Also you guys can keep me accountable by reading and if I don't post something for a while, you can bug me about it. I may not post everyday, but I will do my best to update this often! I am honored you just gave 5 minutes of your life to me. I feel like this is the ultimate form of power lol. Oh, and before I forget I'm going to put cool quotes about missions at the end of my blog. Here's one by Hudson Taylor; an amazing missionary to China. If you ever get the chance read his story, it is freaking awesome.

"If I had 1,000 lives, I'd give them all for China" -- Hudson Taylor